Resources

Mental Health

More than ever before, hate and stress are present in almost every facet of our lives. From the games we play, to social media, news, and any other way we communicate, it seems we're all on different pages. This disconnect can be very difficult to cope with and many people struggle with anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses because of it. We all treat others differently and all want something different out of life. So what can you do to help?

Need to talk?

If life has you down to a dangerous point, please call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline. The gaming community wouldn’t be the same without you!

800-273-8255

Start by surrounding yourself with people who make you happy and don't bring you down. Finding people that impact you in a positive way will be a breath of fresh air. You'll find kindness which, as we've learned, goes a long way. It's difficult to forgive and stay patient, but in the end, it's the only answer to countering negativity. The majority of people who are negative, hurtful, or abusive have had past traumas that led to their current state. So even if someone is being toxic beyond relief, give them the benefit of the doubt. They're hurting in some way and likely don't really mean what they say. Be the light in your dark world and eventually, with patience and love, your light will spread.

However, as hard as you may try to be a positive force, sometimes it's impossible. Life brings you down sometimes, and accepting that you need help is a great first step. You aren't weak for feeling the way you feel. No matter what anyone tells you. There are many methods for coping with mental illnesses which we outline in these resources below. Everyone reacts differently to each coping mechanism, so don't fret if something isn't working for you. Just keep trying. The important thing to remember is that there is always help when you need it and there will forever be a place for you in our community.

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Many things can affect your mental health, relationships, bullies, your environment, even video games! Online gaming is bigger than ever, but with the good comes the bad.

Therapy can help with toxicity in your life. While finding the right therapist can be a journey, forms of talk therapy can keep you grounded and help you address negative thoughts or actions. If you need guidance, or someone to talk to, make an appointment and try it out!

Toxicity in Gaming

A toxic act in gaming is one by which a player ruins the gaming experience of another without regard for the other gamer’s experience.

Video games are what many people look forward to every day. They provide communities that bring people together and platforms to have fun and be competitive on. On top of that, they provide a safe haven for anyone looking to escape the harsh reality of the world for a while. At least they used to... Toxicity is ruining the only joy that some people have left in their lives. Without any regard for others, toxic gamers are tearing everyone else's experiences apart with their ignorance and hostility. Some gamers are putting their favorite games down for good because they get cyberbullied every time they log on. Others can't play competitively without raging teammates screaming at them. Something needs to change, so what can you do to help?

The power of Muting

Toxicity feeds off of other toxicity. It preys on retaliation, so, while it may be difficult and make you feel helpless, muting or not responding to toxic players is typically the best way to prevent the spread of toxicity. And now that you know, you can feel better about yourself whenever you have the strength to restrain yourself! Muting a toxic player instantly stops toxicity in its tracks. While it may feel good to fire back at a toxic player in retaliation, you're stooping down to their level and only making YOURSELF more toxic in the end. Picture the following two scenarios:

Two scenarios. Both start with a toxic player saying 'tm8, you suck'. In one case, you retaliate by saying 'chill' and the toxicity progresses, ending in your team losing. In the other, you immediately mute them and have a good time playing your game, ending with your team winning! Moral of the story: if someone is being toxic, 9 times out of 10 muting is the best option.

Luckily, because our site's search feature allows you to lookup your teammates before your game begins, you can prevent these toxic scenarios altogether by searching for your teammates ahead of time!

Toxic Types

***Notice that being unintentionally annoying or bad at a game is not considered toxic...

However, we recognize that in some situations, like competitive matches or ranked games with friends where communication is essential, muting isn't an option. Our advice for these scenarios is, for one, to report the player on Toxic IRL. Even if the toxic player is your teammate or friend, you'll inform others about them, show the player themself that it isn't cool, and feel better about yourself. The second—and absolutely most effective—strategy for dealing with toxicity within your team is to get new teammates if at all possible. If you can help it, eliminating negativity from your gaming life will allow you to get back to the point of playing games in the first place: fun. And last but not least, if your teammate is toxic, you can't mute them, and you can't leave them, you're left with the only option which is just putting up with it. In this situation, just remember that you are the better person for not succumbing to the toxicity. Just stay focused, keep playing your game, and keep spreading the positivity instead. Never forget that you should always be the only one allowed to control how you feel.

When is it okay to talk back?

As we mention above, in most cases, talking back usually only makes toxicity worse. But, once in a while, there are things that you can say to someone who is being toxic that might help. First of all, you have to actually want to help them. A lot of the time, toxic people are ignorant or simply don't understand how their words are affecting others. If you are retaliating by throwing toxicity back at them, you've become a part of the problem already. Even if you are joking, you are giving the toxic player more opportunities to spread their hate, and a small part of it spreads into you too. There are no winners in a toxic vs toxic battle. No, if you are going to say something back to a toxic person, you have to either be truly trying to help them with their bad habits or informing them of how damaging the thing they said is. The second you don't think you can do either of those things, muting is the only productive option. To be as effective as possible, be strong, patient, resilient, and factual. Don't be condescending —things like "I feel bad for you," or "take it easy there buddy," though they might make you feel better temporarily, lack compassion and rarely help to solve the real problem.

Confronting your friends is never easy, but just brushing things off is unacceptable. If your friends make you uncomfortable or have a negative impact on your mental health or gaming experience, stop playing with them. If you can't be yourself and stand up for what you believe in around them, they ain't it, chief. No matter how long they've been in your life.

Are your friends racist? Tell them to stop or leave. Are your friends homophobic? Tell them to stop or leave. Are your friends sexist? Tell them to stop or leave. It's NOT COOL to treat others like shit. Find people who will make a positive impact on your life—there are a lot of great ones out there!

It's natural to get upset when things go wrong. In intense gaming situations, similar to while driving, heightened levels of adrenaline make you act on instinct rather than with thought. Especially in ranked play when winning is essential. It's difficult not to lash out at your teammates when the game is on the line. However, try to realize that destructive criticism and raging only makes your team work LESS cohesively and ruins the gaming experience for others. If winning is that important to you and you want your teammates to improve, try to be constructive with your criticism and offer humble advice. You'll see an improvement in your team's synergy and ability and will most definitely make the gaming experience more enjoyable for all.

Aside from rage, it goes without saying that you should never say something that could hurt another person's feelings. Period. Even if you are joking, the other person may not feel the same way about it. If you need to say hurtful things to people to enjoy yourself, we urge you to seek help because that is your own problem and you shouldn't be harming others because of it.

In an industry catered to boys and men, and a society chock full of misogynistic and "tough guy" norms, it's no surprise that toxic masculinity is a problem in gaming. Boys want to impress their friends by showing off their "power" and insecure men cope by dominating and deflecting (ie. "locker room" talk). Taught by society, men feel that they need to win, have strength, and suppress their emotions to be "manly." The more it happens, the more they desensitize themselves to it and the harder it becomes to realize how toxic they are being. Unfortunately, this leads to bullying, rage, and overaggression, which is not manly at all—it's just unhealthy. Humility, kindness, and selflessness are the most powerful values in our book.

Discrimination is rampant within the game development world as well. From within the companies making the games, to the content they create, misogyny and harassment are all too common. There have been several accusations over the last few years, sparked by the #MeToo movement, where development companies have been accused of sexual harassment, predatory behavior, and worse. It's no wonder that some companies have trouble dealing with toxicity in their games: they can't even deal with it within their companies!

However, thanks to waves of activism and a rise in awareness for mental health, equality, and workplace safety, things are turning around. Games are working harder to include anti-toxicity measures and justice is being served in the companies themselves.

Resources

Mental Health

Need to talk?

800-273-8255

Mental Illnesses

NAMI

The Recovery Village

How to Cope

Start 2 Continue

Finding a Therapist

Psychology Today

Inclusive Therapists

Cyberbullying

Stop Bullying

Gaming Addiction

American Addication Centers

Toxicity in Gaming

A toxic act in gaming is one by which a player ruins the gaming experience of another without regard for the other gamer’s experience.

The power of Muting

Toxic Types

When is it okay to talk back?

Toxicity

The Cybersmile Foundation

Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia

AnyKey

Are your friends the toxic ones?

Healthline

Are you the toxic one?

SVG

American Psychological Organization

Toxic Masculinity

Talking About "Toxic Masculinity"

Game Development

Fair Play Alliance

© 2025 Toxic IRL LLC

Resources

Mental Health

Need to talk?

800-273-8255

Mental Illnesses

NAMI

The Recovery Village

How to Cope

Start 2 Continue

Finding a Therapist

Psychology Today

Inclusive Therapists

Cyberbullying

Stop Bullying

Gaming Addiction

American Addication Centers

Toxicity in Gaming

A toxic act in gaming is one by which a player ruins the gaming experience of another without regard for the other gamer’s experience.

The power of Muting

Toxic Types

When is it okay to talk back?

Toxicity

The Cybersmile Foundation

Racism, Sexism, and Homophobia

AnyKey

Are your friends the toxic ones?

Healthline

Are you the toxic one?

SVG

American Psychological Organization

Toxic Masculinity

Talking About "Toxic Masculinity"

Game Development

Fair Play Alliance

© 2025 Toxic IRL LLC

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